Perfectionists Anonymous

Hi My name is Amy and I am a perfectionist.  I have learned that for now I can't do goals because I allow them to ruin my life.  I have put off working on my blog  seriously for nearly a year because I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough and it wouldn't be perfect. It's been about two months since I have really gotten serious about my blog, and I have been shocked at how much work it is.  Fun, and enjoyable most of the time but work nonetheless,  I had hoped to get 4-5 post done a week.  I am glad I never made that a hard and firm goal because it would have driven me batty.  Every post has to be imagined, the stuff for it has to be made, pictures have to taken, the post written and edited, and lots of other little administrative things done.  I have a to-do list a mile long with posts I want to write, projects that need finishing, emails to be written, etc--not to mention the laundry overflowing in my bathroom/ laundry room, the mess in the kitchen or the dinner that needs to be prepped.  Everytime I see my blog I simultaneously cringe and glow.  Glow because I am proud of what I have been able to do so far and I remember all the good things I have done and shared.  Cringe because it's not perfect, because I want to to rewrite the CSS, draw a logo, write more posts, fix errors, etc.  I am learning that it's ok not to be perfect but it's hard.  Sometimes everything just makes me want to quit, because it's not "Good enough".  Sometimes I want to work all night to finish some little project that doesn't really matter in the larger scheme of things.  Sometimes I forget to eat because I need to finish x y or z.  But I am learning just because things aren't perfect doesn't mean they are good.  Just because I am not perfect doesn't meant I am not worthy of love.  I am a recovering perfectionist and like everyone else just striving to find balance.

I made an In/Out box for my husband to deal with stack of papers clogging up his desk way back in the beginning of January.  As of this morning we still hadn't put it into use because can you guess why?  It wasn't perfect.  After making it I agonized over the black smudge by the IN and the rough look  of it, over whether or not I should glue the boxes together or leave them separated, over the best spot to put and whether it was the right size.  On a off I have agonized over whether it was "done" or not.  The other day I asked Pat why he hadn't used it yet--why he didn't like it.  His answer was a revelation to me--It's fine, but I wasn't sure if you were done with it and I didn't want to upset you.  Oh.  You mean he didn't notice all the little things that were bugging me and didn't care that it wasn't glued together etc. Perfectionism is MY pit and most of the time when we are busy obsessing about some little imperfection everyone else is just going on with their lives.  I couldn't tell you haw many happy moments, how many opportunities, how many friends I haven't made, how much peace I haven't had because I have been too paralyzed by my quest for perfection.

So here is my imperfect but perfectly functional in/out tray that I put into use this morning  complete with messy desk and disorganized room.
Today I am ok with just good enough!  How about you?

Knit and Crochet Design Week.

One of my favorite bloggers and designers Stacey Trock of Fresh Stitches is hosting Knit and Crochet Design Week March 12-17.  I am happy to say I have decided to join her.
I love to crochet.  I have been crocheting since I was a teenager, but I really only got obsessed with it in the last three or four years.   Lately I find that I rarely use patterns.  I look at pictures or I think about what I want to make and then after two or three false starts I make it.  Some of these things look great and some could probably use some improvements.  I always have tons of ideas for things to make floating in my head but I never write them down or really plan them out.  I know that plenty of awesome things never get made because of my scatterbrained approach.
Last Thursday I bought a sketchbook with the intention of organizing and writing/drawing out my many ideas for things to crochet and design them out more intentionally.  When I read about Stacey's Knit and Crochet Design week I knew it was just the kick in the pants I needed to really get going.

Reflections on February

If January was amazing, then February was good.  In February I feel like I managed to get into the swing of working hard everyday without burning out.  I developed a system for keeping track of all the things I am working on and I managed to average two blog posts a week for the month despite not managing to get out a single post last week.   I am starting though to get the feeling of sameness that comes before I usually crash and burn.  Sometimes, I get up and think what's the point of doing x, there'll just be more to do when I am done.
It's kind of amazing by lowering my expectations,  I have actually improved my  result.  I fear though that I lack direction.  I think it is time  for goals...  not big massive goals like I used to make...instead I think it is time for me to start making tiny goals.  My daily to do list is already a sort of  informal goal list and it's been working well for me.  But I think I would like to make a more formal goal  a I will do x everyday for x amount of time kind of goal.   I think I am ready because instead of dread or worrying I will screw it up I am excited.
Enough about goals.  Lets see what I've been doing for the past month.  Some of these photos you've seen and some are on the queue of things I still need to blog about.

I finished Noah's Ark early in February

Conversation heart letters were written and received with glee.

My super simple Valentine's dinner.

Gluten free mini pies.  YUM!!!

The cutest bird hat ever.

An adorable hat and diaper cover

A bad picture of some homemade buttons

chocolate peanut butter shapes

A lovely set of ombre hand towels.

March is my favorite month of the whole year.  I was born in march and when I was little I thought that the month of March had been made just special for me.  You see when I was in kindergarten I learned about this amazing holiday that everyone celebrates by wearing green and making awesome Irish food.  And since I was little and easily confused I decided that since St. Patrick's day was near my birthday, green was my favorite color, and I loved corned beef that the holiday must have been created especially for me.
March also brings us nearer to my other favorite holiday  Easter.  Plus it usually starts getting warmer and greener, two things I am very much a fan of.  So I am excited for March.

Hopefully you are excited for  March too.  I have lots of great things planned for March.  I am going to show you guys how to put a faux leather finish on an old steamer trunk, and how to make homemade buttons. I am considering participating in Knit and Crochet Design Week.  I also want to share some recipes, and show you some of the other projects I am working on.  So Check back soon.

Ombre Hand Towels-Pattern

This is one of a set of three towels that I made.  I also made handmade buttons to match.  Pictures of the buttons and set will be coming soon.

Materials:  Classic Elite Yarns Pebbles- 1 skein each of 3 colors( I used discontinued colorways I got on sale and can't find the tabs for more info)  This would work with any worsted weight cotton or cotton blend but you size may vary.  I used a bout half a skein of each color to complete 1 hand towel.

F crochet hook
tapestry needle
embroidery thread in complementary color
button

Gauge: 3 rows in pattern = 9 inches across and 2 inches high. Gauge is not essential for this pattern

Body:
Row 1: With Color A, ch 45, 2 dc in 4th ch from hook (first 3 chs count as first dc), *dc in each of next 3 chs, dc3tog twice, dc in each of next 3 chs**, 3 dc in each of next 2 chs, rep from * across, ending last repat **, 3 dc in last ch, turn. (42 dc)
Row 2-8: Ch 3, 2 dc in same st, *dc in each of next 3 sts, dc3tog twice, dc in each of next 3 sts**, 3 dc in each of next 2 sts, rep from * around, ending last rep at **, 3 dc in last st, join Color B.
Row 9-16;  Continue stitch pattern from row two.  Join color C and end of row 16.
Row 16-24: Continue Stitch pattern row two.  Fasten off at end of row 24.

Tab:
 Row 1: Count 15 dc from left side of towel and place stitch marker. Repeat on Right side. With color A sl st in the rightmost st marker to join.  Sl st across to 2nd st marker. (14 sl st)
Row 2: Ch 1, turn. Sc in next 3 sts, hdc in each of next 3 sts, dc in each of next 2 sts, hdc in each of next 3 sts, sc to end.
Row 3-10: Ch 3, turn, dc across. (14 dc)
Button Hole:
Row 11: Ch 3 turn. Dc in each of next 5 sts, sl st in each of next 2 sts, dc across ( 6 dc,2 sl st, 6 dc)
Row 12: Ch 3, Turn.  Dc2 tog, dc in next 3 sts, ch 2 skip 2 sl sts, dc in next 3 sts, dc2tog, dc( 5 dc, 2 ch, 5 dc)
Row: 13: Ch 3, Turn, Dc 2tog twice, dc, dc2tog twice dc. fasten off

Finishing:  Fold tab over and determine where to place button.  Use complementary colored embroidery thread to attach button.  Weave in ends.

A Perfect V-Day

Pat works 4 days on and 4 days off schedule.  We usually try to plan a simple  cheap date/fun day each week.  This week I had brilliant idea, since it was Valentine's Day, we would drive up to his Grandfather cottage on the lake and spend the night.  We could have a romantic dinner and cuddle in front of the fireplace, have a snowball fight and go skating.  Pat checked with Grandpa and that would be fine. I had planned out a menu and written a list.  Tuesday morning I woke up and Pat told me something he had forgotten.  The cottage has no utilities ( water and electricity)  in the winter.   I was all set to go anyway and just use the wood stove for heat and candles for light, when Pat pointed out that the wood stove didn't have a cook-top and we wouldn't have any plumbing.  So I abandoned my plans.  It really didn't upset me, we were still going to have lunch w/ Grandma and Grandpa and I figured we'd just have a quiet dinner at home.  However,  Pat was kind of grouchy-bones all morning and feeling guilty about not telling me about the lack of utilities at the cottage earlier.

We had a great Valentine's Day.  Lunch at Grandma and Grandpa's was great.  Afterwards we visited Walmart and picked up a couple of things we need for projects.  Then we checked out the fabric store to get some ideas to slipcover an ottoman and pillows in our bedroom.  It was relaxing and fun to look at things without any pressure to buy.  After we came home we spent time play Star Trek Online and cleaning.    YES cleaning--our apartment was really messy and we were both kind of grouchy about it, so we made a deal for every STO mission we did we would do "house mission" that took a equivalent amount of time/effort.  It worked, our kitchen, entryway, and living/dining room are nice and clean, and it was actually a ton of fun.

We have continued this trend of rotating real-life "missions" with game missions and it's been great.  We both love video games and we both tend to retreat to video games when things seem to difficult or boring or when we just don't know what to do.  It's been awesome we have gotten a ton done and had fun doing it. Some of our house missions have been yucky like clean the kitchen and some of them are totally awesome like: make pie.  I totally off-topic of our perfect Valentine's Day--anyways after a big lunch and perusing stores and cleaning the house we needed a nice simple dinner that was still "romantic"

So we had breakfast, we had Eggs in a Hole, Bacon, Grape tomatoes, and strawberry banana milkshakes.  It took about 20 mins total to make and was super delicious.  (PS sorry for the crappy photos  I'll chalk them up to living in a basement in Canada, in winter--ie NO light)

How to make Eggs in a Hole:

You will need:

2 Eggs ( person)

2 Slices of Bread ( 1 slice per egg)--I use Gluten free for me and whole wheat for Pat

Oil or cooking spray

Skillet

Spatula

Cookie cutter, knife or glass

Step 1: Heat oil in pan over medium heat, cut a hole in the center of each slice of bread--I used a heart cookie cutter in honor of Valentine's Day, but you could use a round cutter,  a Glass with an appropriate size rim or a knife to cut your hole.  Put the pieces of Bread and the cut outs into the warmed up pan.

 Step 2:  Toast the back of the bread.  When the back of the bread is lightly golden brown flip it over with your spatula and crack eggs into the holes in the center of the bread.  Put a lid over the pan and let it cook for 3-5 mins or until the eggs are done to your liking.  Sometime I like to add a little cheese just before the eggs are done and let it melt.  Transfer to plate.

Step 3:  Enjoy!

I hope you guys had great Valentine's Days too!

Sweet Love Letters from Grandma

Valentine's Day has never been a big deal in my family.  Mom always bought us valentines for school and gave us a little candy.  Once or twice I think we had special Valentine's dinners.  I have never bought a card or chocolates. I've only received one Valentine's gift --from my first serious boyfriend, and I believe that is the only time I've ever gone out for dinner on V-Day, as well.  V-day just isn't all that important to me, it's nice to have a reminder to take time for yourself or loved ones, but I've never thought it was a big deal.

But there is one big deal thing that happened every year on Valentine's Day when I was a kid.  My maternal grandma wrote us letters!!!!  We lived about 2000 miles from both sets of grandparents, so occasional visits, phone calls, and letters were huge.  And since it was Valentine's Day these weren't just any letters--they were conversation heart letters.   We were like kids on Christmas, when the envelopes arrived.  I remember ripping open the envelopes reading the letters and then pulling off the conversion hearts and eating them.  The candy was cool, but what was special about it was the letter.  Everyone loves getting mail/packages and love letters are probably about the best kind of mail you can get.  Grandma also typed a real letter to each of us and included with our conversation heart letters.  I love Valentine's Day.   Grandma died the fall of 1999 and the conversation heart letters stopped.   I have missed the love letters from Grandma,  and I missed the tradition.
So this year I wrote the love letters.
I bought a ton a conversation hearts and wrote letters to each of my 3 sisters and 1 brother and my 1 niece ( even though she is only 6 months old).  And it was a pain in the neck I don't know how grandma did it for more than twenty years for 30+ grand kids, but I plan to do it again next year and for as many years as I can in the future.  It didn't bring my grandma back, but for a little while I felt closer to her.

Conversation Heart letters are pretty easy they just require some time.

You will Need:
Cardstock for each letter you want to write ( paper work but cardstock is better)
A pen or pencil
Large and small conversation hearts  ( get at least twice as many as you think you'll need)
Powdered sugar
Water

Step one:  Dump conversation hearts out on kitchen table.  Sort them based on the words and put all the ones that are too weird to use aside--or eat them.

Step 2:  Mix up you "glue".  I didn't measure so I don't know exactly how much sugar and water you need but you'll need to mix it until it is about the consistency of thick white glue.

Step 3.  Lay out the hearts you want to us for the letter in the order you want them on your cardstock and fill in the rest of the letter with a pen or pencil.

Step 4:  Glue down the hearts with frosting glue.

It took me about an hour a letter to get a short coherent love letter.

You won't be able to say anything too profound but you can write a short mushy letter expressing your undying affection or adoration.  And kids love them or at least I know we did.

My first Knitting

Last summer my oldest sister came to visit me.  We went up to my grandfather-in-laws cottage on a beautiful lake up in the mountains, and swam and ate and she taught me to knit!  She learned to knit as a teenager, probably around the same time I learned to crochet, and I have been wanting learn pretty much ever since.  I never got the hang of knitting when I tried to figure it out from books or videos, so it was pretty awesome to finally be able to knit.

Knitting is still insanely more difficult than crocheting for me and it took me a couple moths of practicing the basics and trying to knit things that were too difficult before I started on this simple hat and scarf set.  I finished the scarf in time for Christmas but the hat took me another a month.

They are super basic but I am so proud of them.  I can finally say that I am a knitter!!!!  

Have you ever made a simple project that was a milestone for you?