March reflections

I haven`t finished anything new this week but I wanted to talk about some of my highlights for March and how I am doing on my goals.

Reflections on my snowflake project

I am a member of the Harry Potter Knitting/Crochet House Cup (HPKCHC).  The HPKCHC is a Ravelry group "competition" that is set up around the world of Harry Potter.  Every month there are class prompts for various things to craft and a player earns points for their house by participating in activities.  It is fun and helped me to stay motivated and get to know new people. 
My Snowflake project was what is called an OWL (ordinary wizarding level) and is supposed to be a project that takes 10-12 weeks to complete.  Participants have to propose and OWL and be approved to be able to earn the 150 points available. 
·         The whole owl  proposal process was a bit demanding and slightly annoying but helped me prepare to finish the project in a limited amount of time
·         Setting a time limit made me much more likely to finish the project
·         I was totally proud of myself for finishing on time
Learning to work with thread
·         I don`t think I am an expert at crocheting in thread yet but I feel fairly confident
·         I have learned a lot about tension and stitch definition
·         It`s easier than it looks.  In a lot of ways thread and crochet feel like they were made for each other
·         I really love the stitch definition of thread, and I actually like working super tight which keeps the stitches super neat.
General reflections
·         I really enjoyed the project and the results, but I am relieved to be done.  It was a huge undertaking and by the end I was pretty bored of tiny white  crochet thread and snowflakes.
·         Written doily patterns are a bit of a pain.  It is kind of difficult to determine what the huge sheath of instructions means until you actually do it.  I am sure the instructions I have written out will proof just as difficult to someone else as the instructions I have run into were for me.
·         I have resolved to learn to read and write crochet charts.  A lot of the pattern reading difficulties I had could have been solved with a good chart.

Learning to spin

I set a goal in the HPKCHC's Order of the Pheonix (OOTP) missions to spin for 3 hrs a week for 8 weeks.  
I loved this project.  I think in a lot of way the biggest thing I have learned by  spinning project is that there really is so much to learn about fiber and spinning.

There are so many things I don`t know. My yarns are still lumpy and uneven but I think they are beautiful in all their irregularity.   I really liked working with the BFL even if was also the hardest for me to draft evenly. 
Setting a goal and sticking to it was fun and challenging.  It was good for my self esteem as well

Yearly goals 
I know I have alluded to these, but I haven't posted the list yet.  So here is how I am doing on my yearly crafting goals:

• Knit or crochet 12 squares for charity---2 so far
• Learn Tunisian crochet----so far I have worked through
  
  Beginner's Guide to Tunisian Crochet by Marie Segares and made this sampler square

  
• 24 snowflakes for my Christmas tree next year--Finished
  
  
• Learn to spin ( I got a spindle on Christmas --Actually my WIP the first project is with the tiny bit of yarn I have spun since then)--See above
• Knit at least one Men’s Bias-Knit Tie--not started
• Knit Wallet--not started although I've had the yarn for 2 years
• make at least one homemade present for everyone in my family(either Christmas or b-day NOT both)--I have a few presents for special occasions planned but none completed
• Learn Irish and/or Clones lace--I learned a little bit making the Irish snowflake and I have done some reasearch
• improve at tapestry crochet--not started.
• Knit or crochet 12 Bookmarks --Not started

Why I Crochet:Becoming a crocheter

I meant to get this finished and published sometime yesterday, but I was so exhausted from class and silly Daylight Savings time change that I didn`t get it done.  Sorry.
Last Monday I wrote about how I learned to crochet.  This week I want to try to explain how I went from being a complacent college kid who knew how to crochet to really being a crocheter.  I suppose I should start by giving my definition of crocheter, to me a a crocheter is more than merely someone who knows how to crochet; a crocheter is someone who is at least proficient at the craft of crochet but more important than ability level, in my mind, is that a crocheter is someone who loves crochet who wants to crochet often or always someone who wants to learn of and how to execute many different facets of the craft.  For example my mother who taught me how to crochet, really doesn`t like to crochet, she much prefers cross-stitching or embroidery, and while she always listens politely I am quite certain that the discussions of intricate construction details or of how this or that fiber behaves  in x circumstance are not particularly interesting to her.  My mother is a person who crochets, but has never really become a crocheter.
I want to tell you a story, a story that may seem like it has nothing to do with crochet but if you bear with me, I think it may help me to illustrate how I became a crocheter.  When I was six years old I learned to read.  I remember the even quite clearly even though it was over twenty years ago.  It was the summer of 1992 just before I began first grade.  I don`t know the exact date, but I know that it was in either the end of July or the beginning of August.   On a hot stuffy summer evening, in a tiny village in southern Iowa, my sisters and I were lounging about in our bedroom which was actually two adjoining rooms that took up most of the top floor of the old farmhouse we were renting.   I had been pestering my 9 year old sister to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar, by Eric Carle to me for about the millionth time that day.  She was doing something else and was thoroughly bored of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and so she told me to go read it myself.  I whined I was certain I couldn't read it by myself but she insisted and so I did.  I probably sulked awhile but when i opened the book I found I could read it.  Every word made sense to me.  (It probably helped that I probably had it memorized from our million previous readings)  But at that instant something clicked in my mind and I could read.  Shortly after that I got my very own library card, and since the library was only a block from our house I spent nearly every after noon for the next 8 or so years there.  For me reading opened up the world. I loved reading.  I loved the stories, the adventures and the things I could learn.  I wasn't just a person who could read--I was a bibliophile.
I tell this story, because for me becoming a crocheter was much the same way.  After I graduated college I married my husband and moved with him to Quebec.  I had come on a visitor`s visa and was waiting for my permanent residency card and work permit, so I had tons of free time.  I was also suffering from culture shock.  I had visited a few times and didn`t think I would have trouble adjusting, but there were many things that surprised and confused me.  I think for me the culture shock was all the worse because it was so unexpected.  My husband worked long hours and I was alone at home.  I had a small box of various mystery acrylics and I began to fill my time with crocheting small things.  Before long crocheting had become much more than something to fill my time, I thought about it all the time, sometimes even in my dreams.  I imagined how one would crochet different things, and I began exploring different facets of crochet.  I was like a teenage girl who had just began a new crush, and I fell fast and hard.

Why I Crochet: The Beginning

Perhaps this series is a bit self-indulgent, but I have decided to write several posts about how I learned to crochet and why I love it so much.  I can't really remember when I learned to crochet exactly.  I remember when I was a child that my mother occasionally crocheted potholders or blanket squares.  She was very busy with other things and preferred counted cross stitch to crochet, but I do remember being fascinated by the crochet. I know that my mother taught me some of the basics at my request at least two or three times.  I may have made a potholder or two but I honestly don't remember much.

Sometime while I was at university, I picked crochet up again.  I had been living with my parents to save money and wanted to make some cheap but special Christmas gifts.  I made 5 scarfs between November and Christmas that year.  I think this is when the bug bit me,  but the obsession hadn't really started yet.  I was too busy with with school, work, and World of Warcraft to really immerse myself in a new hobby, but it began to sneak into my life.  When crochet I saw beautiful things either on the internet or in stores, I began to imagine recreating them in crochet.  I also began to think about construction of things. I am certain that I began to dabble in crochet but again I don't really remember.  Store made winter garments had begun to lose appeal.  However, the region I lived in had relatively mild winters and I never got around to making any myself.

After I married and moved to Canada,  I found myself with a great deal of time to myself and I began to immerse myself in crochet. Before long it was my greatest obsession.
I hope that you find this reflection interesting and join me as I continue it next Monday.

Little Victories

I think successful lives are made up of lots of little victories.  Major victories are rare and sometimes fall flat of our expectations, but minor victories are always there.   Different things constitute as victories for different people on different days but, what matters is that we keep fighting our dragons.
Today was a good day for me and I needed a way to remember it--so on another day when it seems like it takes all my effort just to get out of bed I can remember my little victories.
Today despite anxieties and people phobia trying to get the best of me I managed to:

• Call and change my dentist appointment
• Ride several buses alone 
• Renew my bus pass
• Go to Service Canada and get my permanent SIN
• Swim at the Sports center
• Plus I managed to swim 3.5 times as many laps as my previous best number of laps before I was too out of breath to swim laps.

So how about you?  What dragons have you managed to conquer/evade today?  I would love to hear about any victories large or small that you might have had recently.

Birthday Cake Suprise

Here is my beautiful gluten free birthday cake.  I have made this recipe a million times before.  Its a great cake. This time we also splurged and made German buttercream frosting.  It was the best frosting I've ever had.

But it seems that somewhere along the way I screwed up.  We sliced it up after dinner tonight.  I took a great big bite and it turned into a grimace.  It tastes like baking soda.  I choked down about half a slice before scraping off the frosting and leaving the cake behind.  Pat on the other hand decided to eat his whole slice and now tells me that the cake is trying to make him explode.

Perfectionists Anonymous

Hi My name is Amy and I am a perfectionist.  I have learned that for now I can't do goals because I allow them to ruin my life.  I have put off working on my blog  seriously for nearly a year because I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough and it wouldn't be perfect. It's been about two months since I have really gotten serious about my blog, and I have been shocked at how much work it is.  Fun, and enjoyable most of the time but work nonetheless,  I had hoped to get 4-5 post done a week.  I am glad I never made that a hard and firm goal because it would have driven me batty.  Every post has to be imagined, the stuff for it has to be made, pictures have to taken, the post written and edited, and lots of other little administrative things done.  I have a to-do list a mile long with posts I want to write, projects that need finishing, emails to be written, etc--not to mention the laundry overflowing in my bathroom/ laundry room, the mess in the kitchen or the dinner that needs to be prepped.  Everytime I see my blog I simultaneously cringe and glow.  Glow because I am proud of what I have been able to do so far and I remember all the good things I have done and shared.  Cringe because it's not perfect, because I want to to rewrite the CSS, draw a logo, write more posts, fix errors, etc.  I am learning that it's ok not to be perfect but it's hard.  Sometimes everything just makes me want to quit, because it's not "Good enough".  Sometimes I want to work all night to finish some little project that doesn't really matter in the larger scheme of things.  Sometimes I forget to eat because I need to finish x y or z.  But I am learning just because things aren't perfect doesn't mean they are good.  Just because I am not perfect doesn't meant I am not worthy of love.  I am a recovering perfectionist and like everyone else just striving to find balance.

I made an In/Out box for my husband to deal with stack of papers clogging up his desk way back in the beginning of January.  As of this morning we still hadn't put it into use because can you guess why?  It wasn't perfect.  After making it I agonized over the black smudge by the IN and the rough look  of it, over whether or not I should glue the boxes together or leave them separated, over the best spot to put and whether it was the right size.  On a off I have agonized over whether it was "done" or not.  The other day I asked Pat why he hadn't used it yet--why he didn't like it.  His answer was a revelation to me--It's fine, but I wasn't sure if you were done with it and I didn't want to upset you.  Oh.  You mean he didn't notice all the little things that were bugging me and didn't care that it wasn't glued together etc. Perfectionism is MY pit and most of the time when we are busy obsessing about some little imperfection everyone else is just going on with their lives.  I couldn't tell you haw many happy moments, how many opportunities, how many friends I haven't made, how much peace I haven't had because I have been too paralyzed by my quest for perfection.

So here is my imperfect but perfectly functional in/out tray that I put into use this morning  complete with messy desk and disorganized room.
Today I am ok with just good enough!  How about you?

Reflections on February

If January was amazing, then February was good.  In February I feel like I managed to get into the swing of working hard everyday without burning out.  I developed a system for keeping track of all the things I am working on and I managed to average two blog posts a week for the month despite not managing to get out a single post last week.   I am starting though to get the feeling of sameness that comes before I usually crash and burn.  Sometimes, I get up and think what's the point of doing x, there'll just be more to do when I am done.
It's kind of amazing by lowering my expectations,  I have actually improved my  result.  I fear though that I lack direction.  I think it is time  for goals...  not big massive goals like I used to make...instead I think it is time for me to start making tiny goals.  My daily to do list is already a sort of  informal goal list and it's been working well for me.  But I think I would like to make a more formal goal  a I will do x everyday for x amount of time kind of goal.   I think I am ready because instead of dread or worrying I will screw it up I am excited.
Enough about goals.  Lets see what I've been doing for the past month.  Some of these photos you've seen and some are on the queue of things I still need to blog about.

I finished Noah's Ark early in February

Conversation heart letters were written and received with glee.

My super simple Valentine's dinner.

Gluten free mini pies.  YUM!!!

The cutest bird hat ever.

An adorable hat and diaper cover

A bad picture of some homemade buttons

chocolate peanut butter shapes

A lovely set of ombre hand towels.

March is my favorite month of the whole year.  I was born in march and when I was little I thought that the month of March had been made just special for me.  You see when I was in kindergarten I learned about this amazing holiday that everyone celebrates by wearing green and making awesome Irish food.  And since I was little and easily confused I decided that since St. Patrick's day was near my birthday, green was my favorite color, and I loved corned beef that the holiday must have been created especially for me.
March also brings us nearer to my other favorite holiday  Easter.  Plus it usually starts getting warmer and greener, two things I am very much a fan of.  So I am excited for March.

Hopefully you are excited for  March too.  I have lots of great things planned for March.  I am going to show you guys how to put a faux leather finish on an old steamer trunk, and how to make homemade buttons. I am considering participating in Knit and Crochet Design Week.  I also want to share some recipes, and show you some of the other projects I am working on.  So Check back soon.