I dislike New Year's Resolutions. As I was thinking about if I wanted to make a New Years Resolutions this year, my hand started to shake and I started to cry. I told myself I was being silly and that making a goal would help me to be foicused and feel fulfilled, but the feelings persisted. I started feeling guilty about not completing my goals before I had even decided on a goal. I have had some difficult struggles, with self-esteem body image, and depression in the last few years. The last thing I needed was something else that made me feel terrible. I tend make huge goals, get overwhelmed and quit after the first two weeks of January. Then I feel guilty and haphazardly start and break a series of smaller goals throughout the year.
I like the idea of New Year's Resolutions--the idea of starting each year with a purpose and improving on the previous year. But it was obvious to me that setting mighty goals was not the way to achieve this, at least not for me. So I thought for a while about a way to start 2012 with a purpose without initiating a panic attack. As I thought, it came to me that I like to do lists better than schedules, and general ideas better than rules; I tend to think of rules of something put there to be broken. So I have decided that instead of a resolution I would choose a word--just ONE-- that epitomizes what I would like to get out of this year. I have chosen Peace.
More than anything I want to be comfortable in my own skin, to find joy in everyday things, and just to over be, umm well, at Peace.
Over all I think I am more of an idea person than a goal person we'll see how this works out.
